Posts Tagged ‘miss happ’

Holidays Ahoy!

Holiday Cookies by DC Central Kitchen, CC License

Holiday Cookies by DC Central Kitchen, CC License

I know, I’ve been sporadic of late. To be perfectly honest, I’ve been dealing with some fun physical ailments and it’s Christmas ’round here, so there’s lots to do, lots of duties to perform, and lots of egos to stroke… As much as I get down on holidays in general and fake ones specifically, I do enjoy Christmas. The food, the reaching out, the coming together of communities, the temporary lifting of the apathy we wear for most of the year – it’s warming. It’s hopeful. As tough an image as I put out there, I do look forward to it every year.

Anyway, I’m going to sign off until the New Year, give myself some time to heal, and reflect on the past year, and come back at y’all fresh and full of argument and ways to keep and create communities… Sound good? Good.

In the meantime, I thought I would leave you with a link to some of my archives – posts I love that I’d love you to read or re-read and posts that have top-performed according to my stats page.

So from my personal wish-list of posts:

For a little Laughter and Love try Ego Boost and Sunshine

For a little insight to my life, and to offer me some sage advice, try And My Super Power Is…

To get the glean on one of my fabulous half-baked theories try Smart Woman Syndrome

For tough stuff check out The Unspoken…

And to see where it all began, It takes a…

Now for Go-Getter posts by computer calculation:

How to Keep Friends: A Social Experiment III

Sympathy for the Skinny Girl

Sometimes You Gotta Unplug to Recharge

Warning! Woman at Work

There’s more out there, so click around if you get really bored. Better yet, leave me some comments, send me an email with a request or a question, and most of all have a happy holiday wherever you are! I’ll see you in the new year!

Catching Up To Dashing: Baby Steps For The Win

Baby Steps

Tortoise wins courtesy nedrichards, Creative Commons license

Alright, it’s been awhile since I’ve gone all Dear Diary on you guys…

There’s been drama and panic attacks and tears – and that’s all very boring and teen movie of the week, so, no, I’m not going to discuss it here.

Here’s where Dashing and I are now, though.

We’re good.

That’s it. Really. He is planning his return to school and I am working (and contemplating making it official!).

We speak daily, on the phone and via text. We see each other for lunch or dinner about once a week. It’s been awkward and awesome all at the same time. And we’re both learning loads. I can’t speak for him (I hope one day he’ll come online and give you guys his side, but, we’ll see), but here is what I’ve learned so far.

1. He really does want to make plans and follow through on them.

2. I took it for granted that an “in-person” chat would always be coming up – and excused my poor telephone skills with not liking the phone. It’s not a lie, I do hate the darned things, but it’s lazy to say that’s the only reason I can’t think of things to say while speaking to him through one. Fortunately, I’m getting the chance to improve that part of my communication with him.

3. I can have a more balanced life, and I can have it now. I think that with or without the break, I still would have made it happen eventually, but rebuilding my community became necessary therapy in the last five weeks or so. So far, I’ve gone out with friends at least every two weeks, I’ve texted other people several times – and they’ve texted back, I’ve been on Facebook and updated some things, and I’ve started my Christmas Cards. Now I should probably go back and check that list to figure out what I’m forgetting that I said I would do…

4. We really do have fun together. It wasn’t just loneliness, hormones, and escaping failing relationships that drove us together. And that’s cool.

5. And this is the big one… I have trust issues. With him. And specifically regarding our future together. But I figured that part out. And we’re working on some ways that we can make it easier for me to trust again, recognizing it will take time, and I’m so happy. I have something to work on, I am a part of this relationship again, I’m not just waiting for him to figure out what he wants.

It’s so important, this tiny shift in power. It’s not that I thought I was perfect, far from it. But I really did think that all I wanted was for him to want to be with me the way I wanted to be with him, or to be able to tell me what he needed from me that was different from what I wanted. That I was just waiting for him to catch up to me, or to make a decision not to.

And that’s horrible.

For him, and for me, that is so wrong. I want him to know what he wants, yes, but I want to be able to help him find it. And I want us to be a part of both our futures, but we can’t do that if I’m afraid to be myself with him. And right now, sometimes, I am. Because being myself got me hurt. He didn’t mean to hurt me, he just needed to slow things down, but we’re human (mostly) and we didn’t communicate well. I thought he knew that all I wanted most was him, not a house or a status or a ring – and he thought he was letting me down by not being ready for ALL THE THINGS at once. He just wanted to play with me (in the sweet flirty way we do, not in the string-me-along way or the naughty (also fun) way) and have fun being us.

But I don’t yet know how to play and be me and be boisterous me without ending up wanting more… But I believe it’s possible. So we’re working on that. Baby steps.

Recommendations? Advice? Thoughts? Shared experiences? Books I should read? Leave it below, I’d love to hear it!

Student living and me.

Just life. But through the eyes of a Blue-eyed History student.

Offbeat Empire

Niche lifestyle network

@offbeatfamilies

Redefining family: the archives

Offbeat Home & Life

Where awesome lives

Exploring community through thought and experience...

Tanis Miller

Exploring community through thought and experience...

Offbeat Bride

Creative Alternatives for Independent Brides

FreeRangeKids

Give Our Kids the Freedom We Had